Loving Well

It has been almost a month since I last wrote.  Not because I have been away from the Lord.  But because I just have not had much to say and instead, have been listening.  

What peace there is in simply listening to the Lord.  Being still.   Perhaps reading the bible itself or perhaps adding a devotional written by someone else to it.  For me personally, I have to take some time every now and then to fill up: to just listen.  

A few weeks ago, we sang a song at church that included a lyric about being filled up just to be emptied again.  I keep thinking about that.  It is true, isn’t it?  We are filled up with the spirit just to be emptied again.  At times, it is completely exhausting.  But I do so enjoy the process of getting my spiritual gas tank refilled.

Today God led me to Colossians 3: 12-14

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues, put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” - NIV

This is such a timely message for me this morning.  Last night, my daughter was struggling to get to sleep.  It seems this is a pattern for us.  Most nights, we put her to bed, read, pray, say goodnight and for a series of twenty minutes for up to an hour, she calls us with some type of “issue.”

What is tricky about this situation is that because of her diabetes, I have to go to see what is going on.  Many times, we check her blood sugar levels and most of the time, they are fine.  But it is important that she calls me if she is feeling low.  So you can see the problem.  

Anyway, for the last two nights, this has gone on for over an hour and last night, I was at my wit’s end.  I must say, I was empty.  No compassion, no kindness, no gentleness and no patience!  I myself was tired and I started fussing at her.  

I am a HUGE proponent of sleep and I worry about her when she does not get enough.  I worry it will affect her blood sugars.  I worry it will affect her school work.  And if I am being honest, I worry it will affect me!  

Yes, at the end of the day, it comes down to ME.  It is selfishness, plain and simple.  After all, the child cannot help that she cannot get to sleep.  

So going back to Colossians, I cannot tell you how convicted I feel as I read these verses.  I shift my attention to the last verse:  “put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

Now I love my child very much.  But last night, I was feeling more love for me than for her.  Once the clock passed 9:30 pm, I didn’t want to be bothered anymore.  I was tired and I wanted some time for me.  Am I speaking to anyone else out there?

So I fussed at her and she went to sleep and finally, I had some time for me.  And you know what? I felt TERRIBLE!!!!  How could I be so mean?  Where was my tenderness, my compassion and my love?

We all do things like this to the people we love.  Because we all are born with a tendency to love ourselves first and foremost!  We have to constantly work against the urge to satisfy ourselves.  

So often, we love with expectations.  We love with requirements.  We love with consequences.  We love because of the way a person makes us feel.

That is not love.  Well, I suppose it is:  love of self.  But it is not the kind of love that God designed for us.  

We are called by Christ to love freely, without expectation, with grace.  We are called to give love regardless of whether or not someone is following our rules or meeting our expectations.  In fact, we are even called to love those who do not love us and we are called to love our enemies.  And according to Colossians 3, we are called to love in a way that binds up compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience into perfect unity.

This morning on the way to school, my daughter and I prayed for me.  We prayed I would be kinder and not express my frustrations and my worry in a nasty way.  I explained to her that I did not handle the situation well and that I was sorry.  I told her how much I loved her, we hugged and off to school she went.

Thankfully, we have a God who will turn all into good (Romans 8:28).  In this case, God used my sin to teach her a lesson on forgiveness and grace.  

It is our job to teach our children how to get up when they fall.  Because they will fall- we all do.  It is inevitable.  If we are perfect parents, how on earth will they learn how to admit their mistakes and ask forgiveness and grow?  

They learn from watching us.

We are not called to be our child’s Messiah.  We are only called to lead them to Him.

I hope you spend some time just listening to what God has to say to you.  It is truly so amazing when we just take some time and be quiet.